The Accidental Bad Ass

bad-ass (adj.)
1. mod.
tough; bad; belligerent. (Usually objectionable.) : Stop acting like such a badass punk!
2. n.
a tough guy; a belligerent and arrogant person, usually a male. : Don't be such a badass all the time.


My name Fletcher, I'm a computer programmer with glasses and a bushy beard. I wear button up shirts tucked into my jeans. I spend a lot of time playing video games and reading books on C++, Java, HTML, etc. I am a nice person and try to usually remain "under the radar" and get along with everyone. I tell you this because what happened today was very strange.
This Monday morning, I realized I hadn't done laundry over the weekend. I was forced to wear a little white T-Shirt I found in the closet. It was really tight and made my skinny body look pretty muscular.
When I went to put on my glasses, a lens popped out & I didn't have time to get it back in. I guess I would have a blurry day. I went to "tidy up" and shave down my side burns a bit. Because of my blurred vision I shaved a huge chunk out of my hair. As I continued to try and "fix" it I ended up making a mess of my hair. The only way to look ok was to shave it all off. After shaving myself bald I realized it looked weird to have a huge beard and so I shaved it into a large goatee.
As I was leaving the house I tripped on the curb and fell into the gutter getting dirt all over my shirt.
When I tried to start my car it sat unmoved and motionless. My neighbor, a Harley guy, happened to see me in frustration and loaned me an old Harley he had in his garage.
So there I was cruisin' down the freeway, a badass. You can call me Fletch.