Kids Say the Darndest Things

One little boy was noted as having said "Gramma, I don't want to eat this granola bar, it tastes stinky,". Everyone had a good laugh at the little boy. But you know what? It turns out he was right, it did taste stinky.

Cannibal Big Horn Sheep

There I was hiking on a trail, about 90 miles from anything. I was moving at a good clip, like a horse. And that's when it happened. I stepped on a stick of wood. It snapped and I must have come down on my head cause i blacked out. When I woke up I couldn't move but i was floppin' around like a fish out of water. Then I saw 'em. Eyes, surrounding me. You know what it was? Big Horn Sheep. Flesh eating Big Horn Sheep. And they moved in to cannibalize me. They ate me alive and that's the only reason I'm still alive to tell about it.

My Own Deep Thoughts (Circa 2002)

A really cool job would be to get paid to tear down an old house with a light saber.

Some of my best childhood memories are family vactions. I especially liked the part when dad put me in a burlap sack and kicked me down a mountain.

The cool thing about removable limbs is that you could really freak someone out by switching an arm and a leg.

My Own Deep Thoughts II

Next time you see someone walking down the street with their neck craned forward, walking in a bit of a shuffle and flapping their arms intermittently, don't laugh cause maybe they have a condition that makes them this way.


They say "Your real character is who you are when no one is looking". I guess I'm a booger pickin', nude, nose hair pluckin', wedgie pullin' moron.


Maybe the question shouldn't be "The Chicken or the Egg?" but, did the first chicken have eggs for breakfast?


Everyone always asks, "Why is the sky blue?". I have always wondered "How does the sky stay up there?"