A Poem for the Road

I hate you I hate you
You're always there
I am never alone
You are to my right, to my left, behind me
Most of all you are right in front of me
You suffocate me, can't you leave me alone?
I try to go places you're not, but you show up there
When I am running late you are holding me up
I try so hard to get around, but when I do-you come right back
You're slow, and you're stupid
A lot of times you are overly cautious,
Sometimes you scare me
You are good for nothing
You are traffic

Mad Libs on the Toilet

In response to the previous post...

I do sleepwalk. It's rather terrifying not being able to control yourself in your sleep. Utterly terrifying. On one particular occassion I went into the guest room at my parents house when I still lived there and went through my visiting brother's suitcases. I took everything out of them and refolded everything and put them back in. So apparently I'm OCD while asleep. Awesome.

Another time I turned on every single light in my apt. and opened every drawer. Obviously I was looking for something. When I woke up I also found some old mad libs on the toilet seat. That's what I was looking for. Mad Libs.

Do you think that sleep walkers are living, if just for a moment, in a parrallel universe where Mad Libs are something really important? I like to think so.

Following Your Dreams is a Pain in the Neck!

My neck hurts.
Usually when you're sore, it's the result of some strenuous activity the previous day. But, do you ever wake up and have soreness in muscles when you did nothing the previous day? The only thing that can account for this soreness is that I must have done something strenuous in my sleep last night. Maybe it's something as simple and boring as sleeping in the shape of a cocktail shrimp with my head snugly packed into my stack of pillows against the wall. But I would like to think I was following my dreams (literally) by sleep walking. I mean, I frequently get the feeling, when I wake up, that a lot has just happened and I have absolutely no recollection of it. I distinctly had that feeling this morning, and now, what? A sore neck! So I conclude SOMETHING happened! Maybe I was out fighting Ninjas who came to steal the swords from the ledge in our house. Or maybe I was defending our property from the Red Horde (the Commies for you post-Regan kids). Who knows where my nighttime travels took me last night? Walking down Main Street with my eyes closed may have gotten me into a fight with a bar-fly outside of Quincy's or Mesa Theater. Maybe I wrestled a homeless guy after stepping on him in the alley. Maybe I went to a 24 Hr. Gym and did neck exercises. The possibilities are endless. In conclusion: Following Your Dreams is a Pain in the Neck!

Salad Snot

I think Luscious Jackson sounds a lot like POE but with more of Kelis type beat, what do you think? I wonder if Luscious Jackson is in any way related to Micheal Jackson? I like Micheal Jackson in a nostalgic sort of way...reminds me of being a kid in the 80's. I remember tha' 'hood, the older kids up the street and how we looked up to them. I remember a baby sitter finding my He-Man slime that had started to dry out and she made a brain out of it. I remember trying to convince her that there were Gremlins outside on the deck. Not just monsters, but the actual ones from the movie. It was a good movie, Gremlins-I wonder what it would be like if they released it today. It would probably be loaded with sexual innuendos and mild bad language-stuff that is now OK to say, like ass. You used-to-couldn't say "ass" on TV. Now there's TV everywhere. There's even one in the bathroom at Red Robin-because we all know how freakin' dull it is to use the bathroom. I was thinking they should have a magazine rack in there to help pass the time, but who wants to touch a magazine that someone before you was touching while they pooped? There would probably be a colony of germs on it. Germs are amazingly mobile-have you ever thought of that? Why? Think if they weren't! They be able to make salad bars without the sneeze shield. In fact, we might not even be grossed out if someone sneezed in our meal. Mmmm sald snot

Unpoppable Tires.

Last night I was riding my bike home from a friend's. I was about 2 miles from home when my back tire blew out. I had to walk the rest of the way home. I remember about 4 years ago riding east on North Avenue. I was on the side walk cruising along when a truck started to turn right in front of me to go to Sonic Burger. I had slam on my brakes with all my might not to hit his big truck. My brakes squealed, I think I peed a little bit. I heard the guy yell out his window "If you wouldn't ride on the sidewalk, that wouldn't happen!!" To this day I still think about what he said often. Usually people get mad at you for riding on the sidewalk because you might hit a pedestrian, but what he was mad about made no sense to me. Whether I was right or wrong, me riding on the street or side walk wouldn't have made a difference in that situation. He should seen me and let me pass either way. I wonder if it ever crossed his mind how ridiculous it would be for me to ride on the street, especially during that busy time of day. I would have clogged traffic (there is no bike lane or even shoulder there) at very least-or been sideswiped by someone who didn't see me. Anyway, with these insane gas prices, I say we all start riding our bikes EVERYWHERE! Wouldn't it be cool (and healthy) oh and...environmentally good, if we all rode?! Maybe then the city will make more bike lanes and someone will invent unpoppable tires.

Recycled Ideas

When I was a little kid, my brother, our best friend and I fashioned swords out of pieces of wood in the back yard. My brother climbed to the top step of the playhouse/jungle gym, raised his sword in the air and proclaimed "I'm the KING!" our friend claimed his own king name (all in baby talk) and so when I yelled out "King Arthur" it came out more like "King Arfdu!" Fast forward 20 years or so, here I am with an assignment from my band to write a story as the intro to our Rush and Queensryche inspired song "Rushryche". I know exactly what I want to write! An epic about a Conan-style warrior from another planet. I rack my brain for that hero and my brain spits back out a King from my olden days! King Arfdu!! So King Arfdu resurfaces in this song so elegantly read by Jeff Kirtland and accompanied by Jon James on keyboard. Fast forward to yesterday, when we decided to make a radio trailer for King Arfdu the Movie. I run through my head what this trailer might sound like-so my head comes up with other movies with similar heros! One I think of Beast Master! Remember that movie? With Mark Singer and he could use animals to his advantage (ex. he could see through the hawk's eyes) So I tried to find the trailer on YouTube when I hear Jon saying he has something for me. I he comes out of his storage room with a full on movie poster from Beast Master 2! Well Charity get's the bright idea that this needs to be hanging in our office but she doesn't have her car with her. So they force me to take this stupid poster with me. So that may be why you saw me carrying a Beast MAster poster and a Snoopy Phone to work today. (The Snoopy phone is another story)

Gangsta Rap

I've been thinking about the likes of DMX, Ludicris, Ja Rule, Busta Rhymes, and G-Unit lately. It's strange how a genre can be so hated by some people and so loved by another. At JWU Industries, we make real music, real music for the working people-not car parts. We have done, old people choir songs, German techno/industrial, hillbilly, spoken word, Spanish, modern rock, children's, death metal, 80's, Blues, southern rock, classic rock,-whoa cool! there's a squirrel outside my window rummaging around in the grass!- story telling, ambient/chill, etc. So I am really wanting to do a Gangsta Rap song, but I think we'll start out a little more family friendyly with an old school rap song in the vain of early Will Smith, Run DMC, P.I.D., D Boy, Stephen Wiley and such. Why does it always have to be about shooting people and doing drugs? Why can't it be like the old days when a buncha brothas from the hood would get together on the street-one guy beat boxin' and another waxin' freestyle?