The Future is Here!

That's right people! JWU recently took a journey to the country of Tennessee. On our trip we were amazed at some of the technological advancments of the airports and airplanes we traveled. As if air flight wasn't mind boggling enough, these are some of the things we saw on our journey:

"Flat Screen" Televisions in the concourses.
The pilots spoke to us over a speaker system in the plane.
The seats on the aircraft we designed as flotation devices "In the unlikely even of a water landing". High speed underground trains (pictured)

Moving stairs that you just stand on and they carry you up or down (pictured)Futuristic aerospace tentlike ceiling (pictured)
Futuristic silver trash recepticles (Pictured)My favorite, a moving floor panel. No need for walking anymore! Simply step on this "magic carpet" and it wisks you away! (Pictured)

Statues of happy naked people. The future is astonishing! (Pictured)
Futuristic structure with colored lights (Pictured)

The future is in fact here! That means Jake Wilkinson's Unicycle needs to release the new album "Hits From the Future"

PS JWU was in Nashville this week. This could have been a huge opportunity for us to make it big, but we forgot to bring demo CDs to pass out. So we hoped to maybe play some of our songs on Music Row but we didn't really know what to do...so we didn't. Charity did get to meet a reasonable facsimile of Elvis Presley though (Pictured)

My Invention

It's here folks! The greatest merger of technology since Apple bought....um....Orange. Anyway, I shall call it GooTube. It will use advanced technology to visually search the internet. Use your webcam or camcorder to capture images and then GooTube will automatically do a video search of whatever you are filming. Of course I need to find some really smart computer geeks to develop the technology, but by writing this blog you can see I made it up first!

Conference of the Birds

Three of them are out there on the grass. They are chirping very loudly. One is facing the other two. He will say something and then they will all move swiftly and smoothly on their feet about 5 feet and stop abruptly with more chirping. I don't know bird lingo; I really wonder what they are saying. I think the first guy is like "Now listen, we all know there are worms out here, but I don't see any, do you?" And really he's trying to get the other two to lose hope and leave so he can have all the worms to himself. But the other two are calling 'BS'. "Frank, you're full of crap-I SAW a worm like 2 feet behind you,"
"No, no, no," Frank says as he walks that way to scare the worm back into his hole. "That was a...a..umm....it was hot dog," he recoiled foolishly.
"A hotdog?!" Pete says looking over at Sam.
"Are you kidding me? A worm is nothing-" Sam was cut off by Frank.
"LOOK! It's the Byrds in concert!!!" Frank pointed to an imaginary band behind the other two. Pete and Same knew the Byrds weren't there but looked back to humor Frank. Frank realized he was deep in his lie, but took the opportunity to pluck the worm from the ground and then fly away.
I can still hear them arguing out there.

Da Blues

Not that I don't like the Blues, but I don't listen to them when I'm sad. There is a degree of acceptance in Blues music; they seem Blue about things, but more like "Well, that's reality, deal with it,". But I'm like no way! I'm not gonna DEAL with it Joe Burns! I shouldn't be in this situation. The world done me wrong! I want my music to feel like I feel. Moby is good.

A Low Rumbling

I'm freakin' out man!! I hear a low rumbling, kind of like a semi passing by on the interstate or someone a block away sitting their car listing to their music with the sub woofers blaring. The thing is, no one else can hear it. Charity said I must have a brain anurism (sp). Featuring Enchilada McKenzie said I should just shut up and turn up the Beach Boys I was listening to. The thing is the bass is UNDER the Beach Boys!!! Maybe Tag Team's 'Whoomp There It Is' or the Beastie Boy's "Brass Monkey" or the 69 Boy's 'Tootsie Roll' would have the bass to cover it up, but certainly not these oldies like We Five - they recorded before bass was invented. Just kidding, they played bass guitars, but there wasn't this sonic, studio produced bass that is most electronic and hip hop music. Remember when sub woofers first started showing up everywhere and then these guys started have bass contests at their car shows. This led to the bass tests CDs that really aren't music, just pulsing sounds that blow out normal speakers. this is what the aliens are using on me RIGHT now. No one else can hear it because they aimed the sound waves right at my head. They are having a bass contest and they found that when they channel the sound waves through my mind, it amplifies the bass. This is because I can use my imagination to make a sub woofer that is so big it doesn't fit well into the Grand Canyon. All i can do is let them finish the contest. I bet I don't get anything for helping them out. Selfish bastards. Get OUTTA MY HEAD!!!!!

Salsa Verde ala Meinhart

I started cooking with tomatillos for the first time last night. Mostly because I am growing them in my garden and there are going to be a TON. So anyway, here's the recipe I came up with. This makes a good, tart, and moderatley hot salsa. Enjoy.

Cover in water 7 or 8 small tomatillos and one anaheim pepper, stem removed, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about 15 minutes.

Chop up, and place in blender along with one diced jalapeno (stem removed), 1/2 buch cilantro, 5 garlic cloves (peeled), and a handful of fresh mint leaves.

Pulse until moderately smooth.

Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a sauce pan. Add salsa mixture and cook on medium until reduced, about 10 minutes.

Eat hot or cold with whatever feel like. Now leave me alone.

p.s. shamus put tobasco in it and ruined it. don't make the same mistake.

mind test complete: you are a worm farmer

So, I don't mind getting paid less than a pizza delivery man to do design work. It's fun and I have met some cool and/or funny people. I have also met some weird and/or bossy poeple, but I can live with that.

But what I really want to say is, don't you think it would be great if we all had to take a mind-test to determine what we get to do in life and how much we get paid? I know it sounds very matrixy/communist, but, man, think of what the world would look like. There are some very stupid people in charge of the world.

If I took that test I would probably still be getting paid less than a pizza delivery man to do design work. That's cool. I am smart but not smarter than everyone else. But I bet my brother would be president because not only is he book smart, but he can kick anyone's ass at trivial pursuit. EVEN after several beers! WOWzee!

And I bet the AV Bear would be a cabinet member because, come on, that guy is the pop culture KING. So that's what he would be, pop culture czar of the USA.

I know who all the new janitors would be. But we will pay them OK. At least enough to afford a 900 square foot house in a deteriorating neighborhood. But those are the best kind, really. You develop a lot of character living in a place like that. I know, cos that's where I live. And I'm doing OK. Really good, actually.

I just wish that dumb people would have dumb jobs and smart people would have important ones, that's all. And then ppl like me will just go on living a full life with very little money, but surrounded by a lot of cool people. That's a good life in my opinion.

purple.monkey.dishwasher