Peter Phalten of Ceddar Rapids, TX was found dead by neighbors in his Brinn Street apartment late Tuesday evening. Investigators ruled the death a suicide when a suicide note was confirmed to be his own hand writing. The grim note read as follows:
"Dear friends & family,
I just saw the news on TV of North Korea wiping out all of Asia. This is it, friends...the end of the world. If you haven't heard, he's targeting Europe next and all that's left to stop him is the USA. I can't live in a world ruled by Kim Jong Ill...see you on the other side."
It was immediately noted by neighbor Bill Richardson that parody news agency Onion News Network had, moments before, aired the phony news story on cable TV.
Representatives of ONN were not reached.
"This is just such a tragedy," comments Richardson "I was next door laughing my ass of while Peter was over here drinking a bottle of bleach".
Phalten is survived by a cat named Dinky (who was lapping the bleach at the scene & may die soon).
Phalten is known to have committed multiple suicides in the Ceddar Rapids area in the last ten years.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
New JWU CD: The Great Cover Up, Review
JWU The Great Cover Up
************ (12 out of 9 1/2 stars)
~by Yosh
"Startlingly Pretentious and Delightfully Comatose"
A new album for the veterans see light in the new year. It has been surprisingly nearly almost three years since the insightful team has produced their brand of wittingly profuse nomanclature. The band however have brought us this time, though untimely, a collection cover tunes remarkably a lot like an eighteen wheeler amidst a flowery meadow...16 in all. Michael Jackson and the Clash get the JWU treatment much like a traditional cover album, but there are some very unlikely mosaics here such as Total Eclipse and the formerly well known theme song of the children's 80's cartoon "Heathcliff". Part of the epicity of this release is its exquisite cast of contributors (more than any other album to date)(& too many to list here) (you'll have to peruse the liner notes). The intentions are here-forth becoming of those with nostalgia who wish to also seize a barragement of eclectic re-portrayals of their inner most rehash-ments of childhood soundtracks that may or probably did produce their current mind state. These "paintings", as I will take liberty in terming them, are most comparable to a coffee pot which has just percolated its final drop of rich brew into a glass pot - you gotta detach from societal norms in the sense that you let go of perceived inferiority but still keeping a firm grasp on reality with one foot...like such things as the fabric of space in which all matter "sits" or hangs" causing a sort of dimple where time is dilated, slowed down & even stopped.
************ (12 out of 9 1/2 stars)
~by Yosh
"Startlingly Pretentious and Delightfully Comatose"
A new album for the veterans see light in the new year. It has been surprisingly nearly almost three years since the insightful team has produced their brand of wittingly profuse nomanclature. The band however have brought us this time, though untimely, a collection cover tunes remarkably a lot like an eighteen wheeler amidst a flowery meadow...16 in all. Michael Jackson and the Clash get the JWU treatment much like a traditional cover album, but there are some very unlikely mosaics here such as Total Eclipse and the formerly well known theme song of the children's 80's cartoon "Heathcliff". Part of the epicity of this release is its exquisite cast of contributors (more than any other album to date)(& too many to list here) (you'll have to peruse the liner notes). The intentions are here-forth becoming of those with nostalgia who wish to also seize a barragement of eclectic re-portrayals of their inner most rehash-ments of childhood soundtracks that may or probably did produce their current mind state. These "paintings", as I will take liberty in terming them, are most comparable to a coffee pot which has just percolated its final drop of rich brew into a glass pot - you gotta detach from societal norms in the sense that you let go of perceived inferiority but still keeping a firm grasp on reality with one foot...like such things as the fabric of space in which all matter "sits" or hangs" causing a sort of dimple where time is dilated, slowed down & even stopped.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Happy New Year! Predictions
Happy New year 2011! I would like to start off this year by making some predictions. Hopefully we'll come back to this at the end of the year & see how many of my predictions came true!
1.) The Beatles will get back together
2.) There will be a sequel to Twilight
3.) Stick people will gain sentience
4.) Radios will be combined with tape players and made portable
5.) Flying cars
6.) Jet packs
7.) Dirigibles
8.) Anti-anti matter
9.) Paperless internet
10.) The end of the "Blog"
1.) The Beatles will get back together
2.) There will be a sequel to Twilight
3.) Stick people will gain sentience
4.) Radios will be combined with tape players and made portable
5.) Flying cars
6.) Jet packs
7.) Dirigibles
8.) Anti-anti matter
9.) Paperless internet
10.) The end of the "Blog"
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Out of Context
MAny things we say throughout our days can be outrageously hilarious if just taken out of context, here are some:
"Somebody ate all the twinkies out of my zombie survival kit!" ~Tim Mayer
"Hey...if I can get free Rice-a-Roni, I'll do it too!" ~Me
"No! I don't want to get chocolate cake in my veins!" ~Me
"Let's not throw a frozen turkey at a girl that weighs 50 pounds!" ~Rachel Dawson
"Why are there chickens on the lawn?" ~Charity Meinhart
"Somebody ate all the twinkies out of my zombie survival kit!" ~Tim Mayer
"Hey...if I can get free Rice-a-Roni, I'll do it too!" ~Me
"No! I don't want to get chocolate cake in my veins!" ~Me
"Let's not throw a frozen turkey at a girl that weighs 50 pounds!" ~Rachel Dawson
"Why are there chickens on the lawn?" ~Charity Meinhart
Monday, December 20, 2010
Tonight: Full Moon, Total Eclipse, Winter Solstice
Hahahaha...uhh...oh jeez...hehehehehe ahh, wow I can't quit giggling! I'm so giddy & slap happy!
Wow, I feel like smashing some mailboxes & streaking! Who's with me???
Wow, I feel like smashing some mailboxes & streaking! Who's with me???
Thursday, December 16, 2010
New Country
Today I heard something really interesting in the news: A new country! Well...I was kind of deep in thought about something (would street cleaners maybe be more beneficial if they used toothpaste?) and so I wasn't totally listening. But I heard them talking about this new country called Eigh-Yough (well, that's probably the English spelling)...maybe it's just EeYoo?. From the sounds of it is VERY VERY near Europe.
Cool, maybe they found a new island on Earth??? How cool would that be? A pure & innocent place in harmony with nature where humans are allowed to be their natural blue color. Well all that will be ruined when the white man comes & bombs the place. White men will foreseeably (in this decade) force them to adopt our government & wear Western Wear. It's going to make The Country General & Murdoch's shares sky rocket. (Those are US Companies) which will make the USA come out of it's repression - a repression that cutting and Prozac couldn't help. (I still can't understand why Prozac, Zoloft, etc. aren't by nature, balancers of the economy - think about it, bad economy, lose job, get depressed, buy Zoloft, economy goes back up!)
I also can't think of how to end this blog, so I use one of my trick! Switching to a random different subject in the last paragraph: Where are you? This is a trick question, so think bout that.
Cool, maybe they found a new island on Earth??? How cool would that be? A pure & innocent place in harmony with nature where humans are allowed to be their natural blue color. Well all that will be ruined when the white man comes & bombs the place. White men will foreseeably (in this decade) force them to adopt our government & wear Western Wear. It's going to make The Country General & Murdoch's shares sky rocket. (Those are US Companies) which will make the USA come out of it's repression - a repression that cutting and Prozac couldn't help. (I still can't understand why Prozac, Zoloft, etc. aren't by nature, balancers of the economy - think about it, bad economy, lose job, get depressed, buy Zoloft, economy goes back up!)
I also can't think of how to end this blog, so I use one of my trick! Switching to a random different subject in the last paragraph: Where are you? This is a trick question, so think bout that.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wigi Leanks
(I had to change the spelling to the way I had accidentally been mispronouncing it so the government won't flag me)
Wiki Links make me really nervous because this is our country's national security at steak. SOme basturd is taking our secrets and posting them all over the internet. I wonder how he would like it if we posted his diary all over the internet, including his plans to put a bomb in his neighbor's garbage disposal?
One thing that worries me is if there is info about me in his Wigi Leaks? I am kind of important to national security in secret ways I can't tell you. Like for instance, I have a lot of really good ideas that I write down (some on this blog) and if he stole my ideas, I am gonna be really pissed. Julian Assange I have something for you. *digs around in pocket* Tadahhh! (My middle finger).
Other ideas I have formulated include:
Jet propulsion by magnetic imagery
Water powered generators
Internal combustion "engines" for searching purposes
A cotton gin
The electronic typewriter
A clothes washing machine
Radioactive horse kennel slideshow McTwist rubber basket case transfer
Detailed maps of the Rice Krispy's involvment in thermonuclear international peace treaties
So watch out Julian (that sounds like a chick's name anyway), I may or MAY not have planted a nest of mice with Haunta-virus somewhere in your bedroom (but don't look behind your dresser).
Wiki Links make me really nervous because this is our country's national security at steak. SOme basturd is taking our secrets and posting them all over the internet. I wonder how he would like it if we posted his diary all over the internet, including his plans to put a bomb in his neighbor's garbage disposal?
One thing that worries me is if there is info about me in his Wigi Leaks? I am kind of important to national security in secret ways I can't tell you. Like for instance, I have a lot of really good ideas that I write down (some on this blog) and if he stole my ideas, I am gonna be really pissed. Julian Assange I have something for you. *digs around in pocket* Tadahhh! (My middle finger).
Other ideas I have formulated include:
Jet propulsion by magnetic imagery
Water powered generators
Internal combustion "engines" for searching purposes
A cotton gin
The electronic typewriter
A clothes washing machine
Radioactive horse kennel slideshow McTwist rubber basket case transfer
Detailed maps of the Rice Krispy's involvment in thermonuclear international peace treaties
So watch out Julian (that sounds like a chick's name anyway), I may or MAY not have planted a nest of mice with Haunta-virus somewhere in your bedroom (but don't look behind your dresser).
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