Sueing for Too Cold Popcicle

These days it seems like people are sue happy. There are so many rules set up so businesses and stuff can guard against being sued, it's ridiculous. And it's because people will sue for the smallest stupid things. If people would only sue for things that mattered. For instance, yesterday my buddy Daniel opened up a popsicle and put his lips on it. Realizing it was too cold he pulled away. He then noticed something white across the red popsicle. At first glance you'd think it was part of the wrapper, but then we noticed the wrappers were clear plastic. He said "I think it's my lip". At which point I examined his bottom lip to see a bloody spot in the shape of the white thing on the popcicle. Yes, people, he ripped his lip off. Now I think it is our duty to sue for popcicles that are too cold.

Should I Eat THis Day Old Chicken Sandwich?

Somebody gave me a Chik Fil A chicken sandwich yesterday. I was very greatful but I could not eat it. So I stuck it in my desk drawer to save for today. I was told by someone I should not eat it because it will now be full of bacteria. What do you think? Should I eat it? It is still wrapped in its protective foil/paper wrap. I would be surprised if bacteria could climb in through that...it is wrapped fairly tightly with no sandwich showing through anywhere. I also don't think there's bacteria in my desk drawer-why would they want to be there? There is nothing in there for them to live on....except maybe some gum. But you can't survive on gum, I don't even think it's digestible. So no bacteria in the desk drawer. So they would have to somehow find out about my sandwich in there and then somehow get in the drawer and then muscle their way into through the wrap. I conclude my sandwich is safe to eat.

Kickball

Kickball is fun but if you play barefoot it might made your foot red and sore. If you play while drinking Coronas after a fiesta, rules are you have to keep you drink in your hand the whole time. This is not too hard if your team is up to bat, but when you're out in the filed, catching can be a little tricky. It is then OK to set your beer down but make sure it's within about 5 feet of you. Its fun to drink it as much as you can before being forced to set it down to make a catch. Make sure if you kick it over the fence, there aren't vicious dogs over there. Use shirts as bases. Girls should keep their shirts on as this is modest and customary in our culture.

if a blog falls in the woods...

If a blog is created and no one reads it, does it exist?

I Deduce Lang is Out to Get ME

If you get a call from 480-543-1164, don't answer it! They're looking for William Lang. Who is William Lang? you ask. Well, I don't know. But he has the same phone number as me. How does this happen I don't know, but I do know that Lang doesn't get many calls-only calls from this 480 number. I have never talked to William's friends or family, so I deduce that he is a loner and hates his family. From this I can also deduce that he maybe slightly mentally ill and is bent on destruction. Lang...could be Korean...maybe he knows/knew Cho. This is not good. I'm a little freaked out. He's probably pissed that I have his same phone number. Did you know you can find a phone by its phone number using a sattellite, a cookie sheet and some cactus oil? He is looking for me right now and he may harm me. Lang, if you're tracking me and reading this-what the freak do you want? You can have my Super Nintendo, my K2 skis, my tennis racket, my Andy Griffith DVD, and if you really must, you can take my Gibson acoustic guitar...but I still use it, so please not the guitar. Lang, let's be friends-I am really friendly. Guns are cool but not if you use them on people. If you try to shoot me, I will shoot you first-I have a gun. Let's not have this situation, OK? I also have some wine coolers you can have. Go ahead drink them-please leave my roommates out of this-what did they ever do to you?

Moon

Apparently some people think that the United States put a man on the moon in 1969. Let's think logically about this-think about your TV in 1969 (Or your mom & dad's as this was 10 years before I was born) There were like 5 channels, it was likely black and white, small and bulky. There was no remote, no sattellite TV, no cable, no MTV, no ESPN. Do you really think we had the technology to send someone into space, little lone the moon? The rubix cube hadn't even been invented! Now, I'm fully aware of the possibility that people already living on the moon probably helped out tremendously; giving us all sorts of ideas and technological advancements. They probably even gave us the space ship to get there.

How Much More Can I Think?

Well, I've pretty much said everything in these blogs I have to say. I'm out of thoughts, I've run over the proverbial edge of the world and now there is nothingness. K, bye.