I Deduce Lang is Out to Get ME

If you get a call from 480-543-1164, don't answer it! They're looking for William Lang. Who is William Lang? you ask. Well, I don't know. But he has the same phone number as me. How does this happen I don't know, but I do know that Lang doesn't get many calls-only calls from this 480 number. I have never talked to William's friends or family, so I deduce that he is a loner and hates his family. From this I can also deduce that he maybe slightly mentally ill and is bent on destruction. Lang...could be Korean...maybe he knows/knew Cho. This is not good. I'm a little freaked out. He's probably pissed that I have his same phone number. Did you know you can find a phone by its phone number using a sattellite, a cookie sheet and some cactus oil? He is looking for me right now and he may harm me. Lang, if you're tracking me and reading this-what the freak do you want? You can have my Super Nintendo, my K2 skis, my tennis racket, my Andy Griffith DVD, and if you really must, you can take my Gibson acoustic guitar...but I still use it, so please not the guitar. Lang, let's be friends-I am really friendly. Guns are cool but not if you use them on people. If you try to shoot me, I will shoot you first-I have a gun. Let's not have this situation, OK? I also have some wine coolers you can have. Go ahead drink them-please leave my roommates out of this-what did they ever do to you?

Moon

Apparently some people think that the United States put a man on the moon in 1969. Let's think logically about this-think about your TV in 1969 (Or your mom & dad's as this was 10 years before I was born) There were like 5 channels, it was likely black and white, small and bulky. There was no remote, no sattellite TV, no cable, no MTV, no ESPN. Do you really think we had the technology to send someone into space, little lone the moon? The rubix cube hadn't even been invented! Now, I'm fully aware of the possibility that people already living on the moon probably helped out tremendously; giving us all sorts of ideas and technological advancements. They probably even gave us the space ship to get there.

How Much More Can I Think?

Well, I've pretty much said everything in these blogs I have to say. I'm out of thoughts, I've run over the proverbial edge of the world and now there is nothingness. K, bye.

Burger King and the Pursuit of Happyness

I'm just sayin' - if I was 3 months overdue on rent and I had a kid and a wife to support and nobody would buy my damn bone density scanner...I would go get a job at Burger King. They are always hiring. And who knows, you might actually like it and decide to make it your career. Then on your lunch break you could go try to sell the bone density scanners and maybe a little cheeseburger would help the sell. Plus you could have it your way. When you order your hamburger, ask for a bun between two quarter pounders. Now, am I looking down on the guy who's got the gumpture to try to be a stockbroker? No way. But you know what, if I were interning at a place like that and the boss asked me to go get him a coffee-I'd get it and then I'd bring him a skateboard and a piece of bologna. That would confuse the hell out of him.

Country Jam USA

I went to Country Jam last night. Man there's nothin' like drinkin' beer in a 'wife-beater' in 100 degree weather lookin' at scantily clad chicks or dudes to fight. Oh plus Toby Keith was there. We're looking at booking JWU next year!!

A Poem to My Sly Guy

Kuzwup's float, they do not fly
They eat grass and absorb clouds until they die
Very rarely do they cry
In treetops is where they lie
You might see them in flocks in the sky
Their skin is the color of blueberry pie
Its hard to tell a girl from a guy
For a pet, a Kuzwup you might buy
Make them happy you must try

???

Unhyuhuhhhhh

He said "Hey Josh," I looked over to see his sad, weary face, "Unhyuhuhhhhh"