Al Gore or Aliens?

OK so one night Brian and I were watching TV at about 8:30 or so, when we hear this VERY loud thump on our roof. For a split second I thought "hmmm, I wonder why they're working on the roof this late" when immediately, I hear three slightly quieter thumps in a progression toward the edge of the building and then nothing.

Seriously. Either we live in the Matrix and Trinity and Neo are prancing around on buildings running from Mr. Anderson, or an alien was dropped off and lept off the building, quietly into the night.

We ran out side but saw nothing, so he must have been invisible, too.

And don't get me started on the time warps I've been in...those are even weirder...seriously.

Aliens or Al Sharpton?

OK so Brian and I were in bed one night and at EXACTLY 12 midnight (I looked at the clock) we both woke up to this really loud, really strange whirring or metallic type sound (if you listen to Muse's "Knights of Cydonia", at the very very beginning, it was just like that. I know because right when that song first came out, I heard it for the first time in my car and I broke out into a cold sweat, I thought the same thing was happening again!) Anyway I jumped out of bed because I thought maybe the air conditioner was about to explode so I turn it off and guess what? The sound was still there.

So I went to the kitchen window to see if I could see anything, but there were no lights or anything, and it sounded like it was directly overhead. So I ran to the other end of the apt (we were on the top, third floor) and opened up the screen door that led to the balcony.

IMMEDIATELY the sound dropped at least an octave lower for about 5 seconds before I heard a quiet "whoosh" like something shooting away at an unearthly high speed.

I went back to bed and didn't sleep that night. I was afraid they might come back and that maybe I wouldn't wake up this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Follow up to Bananas Gone, ALiens Here

OK secret secret, I gotta' secret....

I have had a weird thing just below my right collar bone for about 2 years now. It looks kind of like a scar on normal day. But on NOT normal days, it gets really itchy and raises up like a big bump. It's in the shape of a little implant I swear. I think that when they are tracking me is when it itches the most. No joke.

Also Brian and I have a good spaceship story to tell that will FREAK you out. But I need my morning coffee before I can tell it. Check back later. Oh and I have another one about an actual, superpowered alien that was on our roof. More later.

Computers are Neat

Computers, the new type-writer! I know they cost a lot of money, but you should really look into getting a computer! They can help you with many things! One of their specialties is that you can type things and "save" them to "diskettes". The actual "paper" is stored in a seemingly magical place inside the computer or on the "diskette". If you want it to be on paper the way the type-writer did it, then you would have the computer print. Printers may take longer than if you were to instantaneously type it, but you can make it print many copies!! Gone are the days of typing the same thing over and over! New technology in computers is coming out all the time, like the "mouse". THis object fits in the palm of your hand and enables you to move a "cursor" around on the computer monitor. (The monitor is like a television set that displays whatever you are working on) They now have color monitors too. One really new invention is called the scanner. This amazing piece of equipment can computerize a photo! This machine is like a camera that can take a picture and have it show on the monitor. I have even seen a friend do this. This same friend showed me the wonders of a thing called The Internet. This is a way of tying your computer to other computers using a telephone line. I know! I don't know how it works either! But you can "send" information through phone lines to other computers! My friend called it "E" mail which stand for electromatic mail. What a wonderful time we live in with computers!

Life With A Mohawk

Your very own Yosh of Jake Wilkinson's Unicycle decided to quit the band for the weekend to go see some bands in Denver. One of them being major influencial pop-punkers MxPx. Being a concert headed by a punk band, Yosh decided to cut his head into a mohawk. He noticed how, having a mohawk, earrings, and wearing a chain around his neck changed how people act around him. He noticed people stepping out of his way on the sidewalk, he noticed eyes averting, he noticed over-compensation by convenience store clerks going out of their way to not make any trouble. It reminds Yosh of a story called The Color Purple (I think)...or actually The Invisible Man by Ralph Waldo Ellison. Where life can be perceived though the eyes of another race, or in this case, another species, the species of the punk rawker. Yosh noticed how the nice soccer families at his hotel were afraid he would steal their lunch money and push them down on the play ground. So think about this: What if you were born a punk-rawker, forced to live in the punk-rawk lifestyle? Discriminated against by the majority, the "normal" people? Remember to treat all people equally. This is Yosh signing out from a small Comfort Inn in Loisville, Colorado. PS There is no hot tub or pool here :(

Bananas Gone, ALiens Here

Why is everyone so afraid of aliens? Really they are just an inquisitive people. I read Whitley Streiber's "Communion" and find it to be so racist toward aliens. Their skin is gray, so what? Leave them alone! You know what? In the future if we tolerate races enough and have let love flow through the races, we will all end up the same gray color anyway! If human scientists went to mars or where ever these guys are from - what would WE do? I'll tell ya what we would do, we would sneak into their houses, flash some FBI or CIA badge at them and take them take them into our ship and make them listen to Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton while we tested them for all sorts of diseases and then felt the male's you know what while we made him look right and cough. Finally we would have to take an internal temperature and that's where a "rod" or "anal probe" comes into play. So my point is, when they come-don't freak out! Just let them do their "science". Usually you won't even remember it happened until YEARS later. Last week my alarm clock started buzzing and the numbers went loopy. The other night at 4 am, my computer speakers started cracking and buzzing. They're here folks. Are you ready for it? Also, I had 5 bananas on the kitchen counter and now there's 4. I know my roommate likes bananas, but he replaces them when he steals them from me. The cat's been meowing a lot more this week. I noticed red itchy bumps on my arms and legs. My roommate's been acting strange. Don't be afraid. Keep it together.

The Day We Took Over the Radio

What would it be like if you turned on the radio and every channel was Jake Wilkinson's Unicycle? Creepy, huh! Well, we make dreams come true-even if it is a nightmare!

*In the 1950's before Charity was a part of JWU, she had a solo career. This song is called "Vitamin B1" from her 1956 album "Mrs. Cleaver's Tommy Gun"

*In the late 80's and early 90's Yosh was involved in a New Age group called Enyanni. This is the song "Watch Yourslef" from 1992's "At One With the Rocks"

*In 1996 Yosh had started his "alternative/ska/pop" band Smash Face and released "Astro Jacuzzi" in 1998 with the song "Collective Secret" The song was set to be 98's blockbuster "Can't Hardly Wait" but the group Smash Mouth was chosen instead.

*The year was 1973, a good ten years before Yosh had a race change operation. Yosh was still black and on tour with Marvin Gaye and Barry Manilow. This song call "Yeah, No" is from 73's "Sex Band Aid"

*While Yosh was wasting time in Enyanni, AV Bear was already producing Charity's 80's pop music. Back then she was known as Venus de Janet Abdule. Her top album of 1986 was "Like a Tramp" and this was it's number one hit "Patatoe Peeler"

*By 1987 Charity dropped the moniker Venus de blah blah blah...and became a Christian. "Like a Light" was the hit single that dwarfed Amy Grant in 1989" and flooded Contemporary Christian radio waves for 15 years. The album's title "Children of Sub-Saharin Asia" was long since forgotten. Like a Light can still be heard daily on K-LUV.

*In the 80's Yosh had written a novel in his head about a Warrior from another planet named King Arfdu. In 2007 Yosh introduced the story to JWU fans in the intro to their song "Rushryche" In 2007 director Ron Bulushi adapted Yosh's novel to the big screen in this summer's blockbuster "King Arfdu: The Movie" This is the radio trailer for the movie.

*1992 brought an abrupt halt to Charity's Christian music career when she mentioned "ass" in a TV interview. It was later discovered th e word was "Assassin" yet this did nothing to revive her CCM career. Instead she turned to the Nashville Country scene releasing "Night of the Living Barn Dance". This song from that album is titled "Zombie Tractor"

*Throughout the 90's it was a little known fact that Charity was galavanting around coffee shops in Organ and Washington singing and reading poetry with Harmommy about their feminst ideals. This song "He Said Sorry One Last Time" was released two months before her country album "Night of the Living Barn Dance"

*1997 brought hard times on Charity as "Night of the Living Barn Dance" sold a mere 3 units. Charity began doing step arobics videos. this was from her video "Burnin' to the Oldies"

*During her down time in the late nineties, Charity was also working for an ad agency doing voice overs for commercials. This was for Sunshine Travel Agency out of Georgia.

*In 1987 before joining Enyanni, Yosh spent several months in Italy pursuing an Italian girl he referred to as his Meat Ball. He wrote this song to her and released it on a solo CD called "Yosh: In a Gondola on River In Italy Singing to People in Restaraunts as I Pass Quietly By Under the Moonlight"

*In 1983, Yosh became a white German and joined Ich Bein Manner, the beginnings of his German heritage. IBM released a CD called "Mine Hinter Tutve" with this Christmas gem in English called "You Freak, It's July"

*"Mine Hinter Tutve" contained the hit "Spectromanolizers" which was a huge hit in Germany in 1984.

*In 2000 Yosh started working for an ad agency and did this commercial for KiddieCutlery. The Weapons Store for kids was sued when a 4 year old nicked his pinky with a nail file purchased at the store.

*Later in 2000 Yosh tried a solo career once again this time singing without any aid of the computer. "Freezer Burn" form the album "Who's That Guy?" was effective in killing all of Yosh's musical dreams.

*In 2001, full of angst, Yosh started his hard rock/metal band Tamallica. "Good for Nothing" came from their 10th CD that year called "Kill a Few of Them"

*In 2002, frustrated by his drummer's nose ring, Yosh left Tamallica and started "Type A Positive", a goth/metal outfit that quickly released it's first CD in the spring of 2003 called "Bloody Sundae". The album had a morbid take on desserts as evidenced in the song "Marshmellows are for Ninnies"

*In 2004 after relentless touring with Type A Positive in Europe, Yosh discovered death metal and decided to start a death metal side project called Corpse from the Cradle. It wasn't long before they had a full length debut titled "In the Moon Shadow of Pine Trees at Night on a dirt Road in the Mountains". The song "Dinner with Grandma" made many notable death metal compilations including "The Human Bascetti Collective"

*In 2007 after the immensely touted "The Most Awesomest Band" by Jake Wilkinson's Unicycle, the band went back into the studio to begin work on the 3rd album "Hits From the Future" which features this song "Reductio Ad Absurdum" an intelligent argument between a hillbilly girl and her paw.

*Another song from Jake Wilkinson's Unicycle's 2007 "Hits From the Future" called Hilado Burn featuring Featuring Enchilada Mackenzie. A poor Mexican jumps through hoops for his amore but she throws ice cream on him (I think). He is consoled by an ignorant Texan.

*One of the Feminist recording by Charity & Harmommy in the 90's called "Men", will be on the "Hit's From the Future" album in mid 2007.

There you have it-don't ask me anymore questions, I'm Listening to the Human League.