The Day We Took Over the Radio

What would it be like if you turned on the radio and every channel was Jake Wilkinson's Unicycle? Creepy, huh! Well, we make dreams come true-even if it is a nightmare!

*In the 1950's before Charity was a part of JWU, she had a solo career. This song is called "Vitamin B1" from her 1956 album "Mrs. Cleaver's Tommy Gun"

*In the late 80's and early 90's Yosh was involved in a New Age group called Enyanni. This is the song "Watch Yourslef" from 1992's "At One With the Rocks"

*In 1996 Yosh had started his "alternative/ska/pop" band Smash Face and released "Astro Jacuzzi" in 1998 with the song "Collective Secret" The song was set to be 98's blockbuster "Can't Hardly Wait" but the group Smash Mouth was chosen instead.

*The year was 1973, a good ten years before Yosh had a race change operation. Yosh was still black and on tour with Marvin Gaye and Barry Manilow. This song call "Yeah, No" is from 73's "Sex Band Aid"

*While Yosh was wasting time in Enyanni, AV Bear was already producing Charity's 80's pop music. Back then she was known as Venus de Janet Abdule. Her top album of 1986 was "Like a Tramp" and this was it's number one hit "Patatoe Peeler"

*By 1987 Charity dropped the moniker Venus de blah blah blah...and became a Christian. "Like a Light" was the hit single that dwarfed Amy Grant in 1989" and flooded Contemporary Christian radio waves for 15 years. The album's title "Children of Sub-Saharin Asia" was long since forgotten. Like a Light can still be heard daily on K-LUV.

*In the 80's Yosh had written a novel in his head about a Warrior from another planet named King Arfdu. In 2007 Yosh introduced the story to JWU fans in the intro to their song "Rushryche" In 2007 director Ron Bulushi adapted Yosh's novel to the big screen in this summer's blockbuster "King Arfdu: The Movie" This is the radio trailer for the movie.

*1992 brought an abrupt halt to Charity's Christian music career when she mentioned "ass" in a TV interview. It was later discovered th e word was "Assassin" yet this did nothing to revive her CCM career. Instead she turned to the Nashville Country scene releasing "Night of the Living Barn Dance". This song from that album is titled "Zombie Tractor"

*Throughout the 90's it was a little known fact that Charity was galavanting around coffee shops in Organ and Washington singing and reading poetry with Harmommy about their feminst ideals. This song "He Said Sorry One Last Time" was released two months before her country album "Night of the Living Barn Dance"

*1997 brought hard times on Charity as "Night of the Living Barn Dance" sold a mere 3 units. Charity began doing step arobics videos. this was from her video "Burnin' to the Oldies"

*During her down time in the late nineties, Charity was also working for an ad agency doing voice overs for commercials. This was for Sunshine Travel Agency out of Georgia.

*In 1987 before joining Enyanni, Yosh spent several months in Italy pursuing an Italian girl he referred to as his Meat Ball. He wrote this song to her and released it on a solo CD called "Yosh: In a Gondola on River In Italy Singing to People in Restaraunts as I Pass Quietly By Under the Moonlight"

*In 1983, Yosh became a white German and joined Ich Bein Manner, the beginnings of his German heritage. IBM released a CD called "Mine Hinter Tutve" with this Christmas gem in English called "You Freak, It's July"

*"Mine Hinter Tutve" contained the hit "Spectromanolizers" which was a huge hit in Germany in 1984.

*In 2000 Yosh started working for an ad agency and did this commercial for KiddieCutlery. The Weapons Store for kids was sued when a 4 year old nicked his pinky with a nail file purchased at the store.

*Later in 2000 Yosh tried a solo career once again this time singing without any aid of the computer. "Freezer Burn" form the album "Who's That Guy?" was effective in killing all of Yosh's musical dreams.

*In 2001, full of angst, Yosh started his hard rock/metal band Tamallica. "Good for Nothing" came from their 10th CD that year called "Kill a Few of Them"

*In 2002, frustrated by his drummer's nose ring, Yosh left Tamallica and started "Type A Positive", a goth/metal outfit that quickly released it's first CD in the spring of 2003 called "Bloody Sundae". The album had a morbid take on desserts as evidenced in the song "Marshmellows are for Ninnies"

*In 2004 after relentless touring with Type A Positive in Europe, Yosh discovered death metal and decided to start a death metal side project called Corpse from the Cradle. It wasn't long before they had a full length debut titled "In the Moon Shadow of Pine Trees at Night on a dirt Road in the Mountains". The song "Dinner with Grandma" made many notable death metal compilations including "The Human Bascetti Collective"

*In 2007 after the immensely touted "The Most Awesomest Band" by Jake Wilkinson's Unicycle, the band went back into the studio to begin work on the 3rd album "Hits From the Future" which features this song "Reductio Ad Absurdum" an intelligent argument between a hillbilly girl and her paw.

*Another song from Jake Wilkinson's Unicycle's 2007 "Hits From the Future" called Hilado Burn featuring Featuring Enchilada Mackenzie. A poor Mexican jumps through hoops for his amore but she throws ice cream on him (I think). He is consoled by an ignorant Texan.

*One of the Feminist recording by Charity & Harmommy in the 90's called "Men", will be on the "Hit's From the Future" album in mid 2007.

There you have it-don't ask me anymore questions, I'm Listening to the Human League.

Hasta Llego Enchilada

I think our song Helado Burn is an ethnic tribute to our Mexican brothers and sisters to the south. While none of us are Mexican, we still enjoy the language especially Featuring Enchilada Mackenzie, he is the real voice of this song singing about wanting this woman who gives him ice cream (or something...) Enchilada (aka Nate Ralston) has studied Spanish which has helped him understand Mexican -I know this because I work with him and I went to Mexico with him once and he helped me to order a quesadilla at a taco stand. The other guy in the song is an ignorant yet compassionate Texan who stumbles on the downtrodden Featuring in a Mexican restaurant. Featuring is crying because he was dumped and offered ice cream (I think) The Texan tries to bring himself to common ground with Featuring by speaking as much Spanish as he can but does a terrible job. There is an air of unrealized arrogance as the Texan brings up his favorite food: Cub Cr...Club Crackers with guacamole on them. He wrongly teaches the Mexican that these crackers come from Keebler Elves. The Texan fully believes these elves are real and have a cracker factory in the forest. The other voice belongs to Maria Espinoza-Perez-Juarez who was the one breaking up with poor Featuring Enchilada Mackenzie. This is making me thirsty for a Corona.

Sorry Vegetarians: A Treatise on Non-Vegtable Animals

I keep wondering what it would be like if I were painted blue by hostile men who wanted to chop my head off and kick it down the stairs but gave me a chance to get away. If they let me run but decided to use me as target practice as I tried to get away and then chased me into the jungle-what it be like? I think I would be really pissed at them for shooting arrows at me and then I would find the part of the jungle I was familiar with and then those suckers would be in for it. It is morals like this we can gain from watching movies. I know, I know, there are reasons to to not watch movies also, like goriness. Gory scenes can make you feel queezy and then play through your head over and over not being pleasant. I doubt it really happens much, but seeing an Aztec rip the still beating heart out of a guy's chest might actually make someone want to do it too. I was feeling kind of tempted to build a gory pig trap in my backyard after the movie. It would have some sort of bait on it and when the pig crossed the trigger mechanism-WHAMO! Big spikes would impale the pig and I'd have dinner for months. I would make bacon, ham and even hotdogs. They would be pork hotdogs cause a pig is not beef. I like beef hotdogs the best though, so maybe I would have to lure a horse in the trap. I know- horse is not beef either, but you know a beef animal is sure to be around a horse and the horse would lead him to the trap. Then we could make hamburger patties. Man, you can get quite a few burgers out of one cow. I might even open my own little Mc Donald's with a sign saying "All Fresh Beef" and I could prove it by shooting the cow right in front of the family ordering. I think I would open the place right in my neighborhood, the family friendly neighborhood burger joint. Meat is good for you but you should only have as much as the size of your hand everyday. Some people think meat is bad, how can it be? We're made of meat and we're not bad.

Singin'

Charity and Brian have always been known as the lead singers of JWU, but after hearing our newest song "The Day We Took Over the Radio" you will begin to see how I am becoming an up and coming singer soon to take over JWU. I know know I know. I will be signing autographs this weekend in Denver.

I Stole a Little Girl's Bike

We think it would be funny if you found a pink and white little girl's bike in someone's trash pile and rode around with us. Well I found you one the other night. I was pulling into our driveway at close to midnight when the neighbor's trash pile caught my eye. There it was: tiny with white tires and pink pedals and pink grips. I snagged it for you. As I examined it I found nothing wrong other than a flat back tire. Gosh, I really hope the neighbors were getting rid of it, because if they weren't, I just stole it. Please understand, I did not steal this bike. I didn't punch a little girl in the face, knock her down and ride off on her bike. I found it. In a trash pile I found it. I guess technically taking someone's trash IS theft, but who cares? I don't care if you steal my trash.

one more thing about salt lake

Last night I saw a Mormon missionary going into a liquor store. It made me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Secret Mormon Handshake

OK. I love Mormons, right? They are pretty much the nicest people ever to head out west and settle and build a beautiful temple. They are kind and thoughtful, and they don't act fake at all.

So when I heard from a freind of a friend of a dishwasher at a popular local pub that there was a secret mormon handshake, I wasn't surprised. But last night I had a startling revelation- (oh did I mention I'm in Salt Lake City for the next few days? OK, back to the revelation-) I have discovered that Mormons walk on the LEFT side of the side walk. I'm not sure if they do this to seek out other Mormons or not, but it would make sense. I experimented with this many times last night, and EVERYTIME, they knew I wasn't a mormon b/c I walked on the right side consistantly. Not that they were discriminatory against me... they kindof just gave me that far-0ff look of forelornment, a slight bit of pity that I'm not allowed in their Temple.

Today I am going to try and walk on the left and see if someone might shake my hand in that "special" way. I really want to go in that temple, but I think I'll have to settle for watching some movies about the history of Joseph Smith in the visitor's center instead. Such is.