Recipe

I thought of a couple good recipes while sitting in traffic today:

Breakfast Slurry
2 Cookies
2 c of milk
1 blueberry muffin
1 c cereal

mix well and enjoy


Castle Roll Casserole

1 helping of Serbian Egg Casserole
1 helping of cheesy potato casserole
3/4 c Lard

Stir helpings together. Bake at 350 for 4 min.


Scorched Earth

5 T crushed Red Peppers
1 minced chipotle pepper
1 c Chili powder
2 T tabasco
1 diced jalapeno
4 minced habanero peppers
5 c cayenne pepper
1 tsp black pepper

Stir together with boiling water. Drink quickly and chase with Vodka (must be Vodka to correlate with "Scorched Earth")


Weed Terminator

4 qt. used motor oil
1 qt. paint thinner
1 gal. bleach
1 c gasoline
1 T power steering fluid
2 c windex

Mix and shake up. Pour on weeds and rodents. Do not eat!

The Self Perpetuation of the "Pop Up" Kleenex

The "Pop Up" Kleenex is that Kleenex box designed to pull up a fresh new tissue conveniently waiting for your hand to snatch it next time you need some blownose. It's a great invention really, it keeps you from fumbling around trying to get a hold of one when your nose feels like its oozing off your face.
Ever the conspiracy theorist, I have caught on to the plans of product developers at Kleenex. They devised a cunning scheme: just by tightening the clear plastic membrane that keeps that tissue popped up there, they have created a perpetuation of their product. They realized that the tightness causes a tiny bit of "tissue dust" to rub off of each tissue pulled through the membrane. The faster you yank one out, the better the potential allergens are dispersed in your vicinity. See? Little particles are breathed in and your nasal passages go nuts! Your nose runs like crazy & you think you're having an allergy attack. You yank another one out and the cycle continues.
This also creates a rapid accumulation of dust bunnies around the area of the Kleenex box. So...maybe a way to defeat their wily plan is to stretch that plastic part before you begin use! Damn the Man! Fight the power!!